40 weeks and 4 days...
Throughout my pregnancy I very much tried to keep an open mind when it came to the birth. Open to Natural, open to birth skills in active labour and also open to intervention if I needed it. My dream was to have a natural birth even though I knew it would be one of the biggest challenges of my life.
This is Frankie's birth story.
It was B'day and I didn't know it yet, waking up to cramps and bleeding I called the hospital only to be assured this was just part of "the show" and things were definitely heading in the right direction but it was early days.
At 9am Dean and I were walking to a local cafe to meet a friend for a coffee when the contractions started. Low intensity and approximately 20 minutes apart. Another false alarm I was sure as I had already experienced this a week earlier.
It wasn't really progressing quickly so I tried to relax. The day was spent on the sofa, in bed, watching TV and very out of sorts. How exactly are you supposed to "take some panadol and get some rest" when this could be it? You last day as parents to be,
By 4pm The contractions started to get closer together but still not very strong, the hospital assured me this was still very early stage labour so that relaxed me a little. This is when things began to get very interesting.
Fast forward one hour, lying on the sofa next to Dean when POW a serious kick in the guts stepped the contraction intensity up to medium and it scared the shit out of me. I'm pretty sure I held my breathe for the whole minute just looking at Dean in panic. This baby was definitely coming. I jumped straight in the shower and in that time the contractions jumped to 8 minutes apart.
I had kindly been loaned a tens machine for my labour so once out of the shower, Dean helped me put this on and we started birth skills. The fitball was my saviour during pregnancy and i thought it would be a good tool in labour...nope...the only thing that helped was me stamping around, being on all fours or squatting whilst swaying side to side. The contractions were starting to come thick and fast so I decided to let my body lead me and got my head in the game.
Within another hour they shifted to every 2-3 minutes and the intensity increased with every one. We went from thinking we had heaps of time to that window closing fast. I called the hospital and told them we were on the way.
By 7pm we were in the car on the way to the hospital, contractions 2-3 minutes apart and intense. It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital but it was Sunday night so traffic was scarce. I had 3 contractions on the walk from the car to the delivery suite and was advised after the initial check that it appeared I was 8-9cm dilated. We had done most of the work at home and in the delivery suite all of our practiced birth skills went out the door as the intensity was high now and it was business time.
The pain that I felt during labour was something I simply couldn't prepare for or put into words now. I was having contraction on top of contraction in the delivery suite and I could not actually verbalise what I needed. I would have taken all the intervention as at this point the tens machine was on boost and not distracting me enough.
Dean was amazing, I can only imagine how hard it must be to see someone you love go through something like this. He asked me if I would like to try the gas. I nodded. This in turn caused me to throw up but after the initial purge I got it. I would say it took the edge off, but I could still feel everything! EVERYTHING!!! He said there were only 2 times I was lucid enough between contractions to have a conversation with him - in 4 hours but I can't really remember much of what we talked about!! I remember on a particularly bad contraction Dean was telling me a story and he repeated the same line 4 times as I was moaning horribly haha! We can look back now and laugh and hey his story worked cos I remember that!
Our delivery suite was a revolving door of different midwives and we were advised our Obstetrician who we had grown to love was actually not available. It was a Sunday night so I feel that was fair enough. His colleague would take his place and as things were progressing quickly the midwife who was on duty at the time left the room to get him to make his way down.
Before I knew it, it was time to push. The Obs came in and he was dressed in business attire, pulled out a plastic apron, rolled up his sleeves and talked to me and Dean about the next stage. I stared blankly and have no idea what i responded with. I just know at this point they took the gas off me as I needed to be focused...I clutched to it for dear life as they pryed it out of my hands. Pushing was hard...not in a painful way, moreso in an exhausting way. I really had to concentrate on where to push as its not quite the same as doing a number 2! You have to sort of push there and then beyond to get the vagina to open...sometimes it didn't budge.
We had a mirror down the business end so we could see everything. Although I had my eyes closed until she crowned as I couldn't take watching whilst her head was bobbing in and out. Eyes closed, encouraging shouts from the OBS and midwife made me realise things were bout to get real. I opened them and saw the top of our babies head. It was the most surreal thing i've ever seen. Another push and she was fully crowned. Now to wait for the next contraction to avoid tearing.
It was a long wait but I had my eyes locked on that little head...so many feelings and questions ran through my head. What do you look like? Are you a girl or a boy? Will we be enough for you?
Then it was go time and with one push her head was out and the body soon followed. Pushing felt like hours but the Obstetrician advised it was quick - 20 minutes and well done! It was a girl. She was on my chest and I was speechless. No tears just awe. She was incredible and I couldn't take my eyes off her.
You're a girl, you're beautiful and yes we will be enough for you because seeing your eyes look at me in that moment made me realise what this parenthood thing is all about. Unconditional love.
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