Victoria's last snap lockdown hit me. It hit me hard. I got the palps (heart palps).
We had just gotten out of the newborn fog and considered making plans and then BAM Lockdown...again. I felt trapped and I felt anxious.
We are super fortunate on the finance and work front, we have a beautiful home. 2 happy healthy daughters, and live in a supportive community so I should feel #blessed. But I feel anxious.
I have the wants...
I want to have a holiday with my family, I want see my interstate family and friends. I want to take a road trip and not be concerned about being locked out of my own state. I want to meet and connect with new Geelong friends and mums. I want to get amongst my new community and find all the neat places to drink coffee, eat amazing food and shop in the cute little boutiques. I want to find all the hidden treasures. I don't want to worry about coming into contact with the virus but I do worry. I want to be able to get vaccinated and protect myself and those around me.
So many wants and one by one the hope creeps in and then it creeps back out.
It's a bit of a double-edged sword as I do believe that lockdowns are a good thing especially if they are introduced straight away (each to their own and no judgment here) but it can take its toll on your sanity. If you look at other parts of the world we are very lucky to have what we now have, so this anxiety came to me like a rude surprise. I can pinpoint only 2 other times in my life I have felt like this and it's incredibly unpleasant.
I realised how far I have come and knowing to voice my concerns and talk about it as soon as it presents is the best thing for my own mental health. I have the go-to people that I can talk to. Funnily enough, this is more common than you think. You are not alone, we all have moments like this. It is not a sign of weakness and it needs to be normalised.
Sending love to Sydney. Lockdowns are hard and it's taxing but you will get through it. Talk to your people, get out of the house every day even for 15 mins, zoom and facetime more and know that you are not alone!
This morning I woke with a heavy heart at the thought of heading into another lockdown which may have just been confirmed *sigh*
What does the future hold? It's hard to say but know that I am always here to listen, to talk and share.
Some helpful link if you or your loved ones aren't feeling the best xo
Comments