Its been almost 8 weeks since Frankie's arrival and I sit here on a particularly good day while she sleeps and am reflecting on the journey so far.
The first few days in hospital seem a distant memory, then enter the haze of tears, nappies, feeding, sleeping, visitors, hormones, specialists, unwanted parenting advice, did I mention hormones?
OH MY GOD!!! Nothing could have prepared me for the crash upon getting home. That shit is crazy! we had arrived home 4 days after Frankie's birth, went out for lunch with mu parents. They left, Dean and Frankie were asleep and I sat outside in the sunshine and then all of a sudden, hysterical crying...for 2 HOURS!!! That was just the start.
Breastfeeding from day 1 was difficult, i thought i was nailing it until my nipples were cracked bleeding and unbearable to feed off. Poor latch...Latch...a word you will hear lots of and never look at the same again. The hospital has lots of support which is great but when you have to feed every 3 hours and your babies food source is so painful it makes you cry...not an ideal start. I will talk more about Breastfeeding in another post as this is an important topic that I don't think enough women talk about!
For 3 weeks Dean was at home with me which was fantastic, the first 2 were hard but by the third we started to understand what our baby needed and adjusted a bit to this new life of parenthood.
Visitors - if you're not feeling it, don't have them over, don't have them stay and don't be afraid to say no! I am a YES person, I love socialising and I love connecting with people. This is my life! But when you're anxious about the next feed or if your baby is going to cry or if your guests want another cup of tea maybe wait for another day/week/time. It's not worth it. I would find myself watching the clock and worrying about having to go about my routine around these people which ain't healthy!
Sleeping - Get it when you can, half an hour, 3 hours, 5 minutes whatever you need. If the baby is asleep or your partner is home nap it up sister! Everything feels better with a bit of shut eye.
Talking - Voice your concerns and get help. There is so much support out there, I called hotlines to ask advice if ever I was unsure of anything. I booked in to specialists, got home visits organised and just talked it out as much as possible. Chat to fellow mums and you will soon see that you are not alone, all of these things you are experiencing someone else has experienced or can reassure you that it isn't easy and that's ok! You're doing a great job.
Motherhood is a journey, it's challenging but I wouldn't change it for anything. Character building as my dad would say! The second that baby smiles or coos at me my heart explodes and all the pain, tears and lack of sleep are 100% worth it. I'm not quite sure who I am yet in my new role but I know that it is definitely the most rewarding.
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