.April 2019. I was a very anxious child and had to learn a lot of techniques to help me deal with this. The key thing was always to try and find what it was that was making me feel this way and then to recognise it and talk about it.
As an adult things are a lot more complicated, the emotions we go through at every large step in our lives can break us a little mentally and I am so sick of staying quiet about it.
You have seen some shit haven't you? You've been through something that you have had to fight your way out of! Some of you may still be fighting and that is ok. This is a safe place, we can get through it together.
I have endeavoured to create a support system within my family and friendship groups to always ask more questions, listen and talk it out together and have a safe place for everyone. In hard times stress and anxiety is amplified and no one needs to be alone when feeling it.
Let's talk about it!
My current journey is incredible. I have an 8 week old daughter who is so beautiful, a supportive partner and a happy life. I want to be clear that I do love my life and I am very grateful! But motherhood has been hard so far, in particular breastfeeding. I love my baby
and being able to nourish her from my body blows my mind. But I hate it at the same time. With this comes incredible guilt and frustration that I should be loving this. I am not. Most of the feeds are good now, but there is still one or two a day that bring me back to that dark place where I want to throw in the towel and give up.
Some of the people I turned to for support told me to give up and just wean...WTF!!! Its hard yes but i've done it this long with issues, i'm not about to give up now. This is not what I wanted to hear...this actually made me want to fight harder to get this right! But more than that, I wanted to create a community of women that can talk freely about everything (not just motherhood - this is just where I am at right now) and have absolutely no judgement, just a tribe who support one another and lift each other up rather than try to create solutions and tell them what to do.
I've had people tell me I should be more grateful as a lot of women struggle to even get pregnant. I am well aware of this, I have friends that are going through this and I am 100% grateful. That one hurt. Anyone that knows me knows I live my life from a place of love and I all I am trying to do is talk about the things that no one seems too. I am transitioning into something I have not done before and I am by no means complaining. I am just trying to figure out what the hell I am doing because knowledge is power.
I found when posting publicly about my personal issues a lot of women came back to me with incredible, unique and very raw stories. Each one completely different and inspiring.
I don't want any of you to feel alone, unsupported or even worse...stay silent.
Talk it out, find your go to support team and no that you are never alone.
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